Is This Love
by Fabulous 32
Summary: AU version of the romance between Bianca and Marissa. What if Marissa wasn't so oblivious to her feelings? What if Bianca never played Cyrano for JR? What would have happened? (I also made Ricky a lot meaner.)
1. Chapter 1

**Is this love?**

**AU version of the romance between Bianca and Marissa. **

**What if Marissa wasn't so oblivious to her feelings? What if Bianca never decided to play Cyrano for JR? What would have happened? (I also made Ricky a lot meaner.)**

**I've been brewing this story for a while and it's been distracting me from **_**After the First Shot**_** so I decided this weekend I would write it all down. I hope you like it. It turned out a lot longer than I expected – **_**but then my stories seem to do that these days**_**.**

…

It was at the after Easter Treasure hunt that JR suggested setting Bianca up on a date. He added that if she didn't want to do it alone then he and Marissa could make it a double date. Marissa could see right through his motives. He'd been trying for a long time to wheedle his way back in. Trying to get her to move back to the mansion. So far she was managing to resist him, but it was getting harder to do. Thank god for Bianca, who was a good friend and was happy to be a willing ear; ready to listen and sympathise with her JR woes.

Marissa was determined she wasn't going to fall for any of JR's tricks, but she also wanted to do something nice for Bianca. Her friend was very down after the divorce and with the worry of her missing mom… and the problems at the Miranda Centre… Bianca deserved the chance to have fun and maybe move on from all this heart-break.

Despite her reservations about spending time with JR, the thought of seeing Bianca happy overrode everything else. So Marissa agreed to the date.

Bianca meanwhile looked doubtful about the whole idea, but she let Marissa persuade her.

…

Marissa got to the bar early. Louise was already waiting and walked up to her with a big smile on her lips.

"You must be Bianca."

Marissa was strangely flattered to be confused with her good friend, but she was quick to correct Louise on her mistake.

Bianca arrived a little later; around the same time as JR. She looked worn down despite her wide smile. Marissa began to have a creeping suspicion that Bianca wasn't quite up for a date. Despite her attempts to put up a good front she clearly had other things on her mind. They ordered their meal and JR joked that she and Bianca had clearly been spending too much time together when they asked for the exact same thing - Caesar salad, with dressing on the side and extra croutons. Marissa just grinned back saying that they simply had the same exceptional good taste!

…

The date itself turned out to be a disaster. JR disappeared early on to check up on AJ because he'd forgotten to take his medicine. Marissa felt that might actually be a good thing. She didn't have to keep her guard up against JR's smooth tongue, she just had to concentrate on her friend. But Bianca's head just wasn't on the date. She had clearly been having a nightmare day with the backers at the Miranda centre, who still giving her grief about the Griffin murder enquiry. Louise wasn't making it any easier with her unhelpful suggestions… And then, first chance she got, the woman bailed… leaving Bianca all alone. Marissa couldn't believe someone would do that!

She hoped that Bianca would at least stay for the concert, but Bianca just wanted to go home. She had a new expression of devastation on her face. Marissa felt awful. She just wanted to give her friend a big hug and say sorry, but Bianca wouldn't let her. She just wanted to get away. It's not like Marissa could blame her. This was supposed to be a fun date to take her mind off of the divorce and she had gotten rejected all over again. If Marissa hadn't wanted to see the Adele concert so much she would have gone home too at that point. She wasn't looking forward to an evening alone with JR.

…

That night Marissa's mind went back over Bianca's date. She wondered what could have gone wrong. She couldn't believe that Louise would just walk out on someone as amazing as Bianca… That she wouldn't have gone out her way to see her happy and smiling, not sad and quiet.

If she'd been in Louise's place…

Marissa's half-dreaming mind took her just where she wanted. Now she was on the date with Bianca and she was going to pull out all the stops to make sure it was a good one! She did all she could to make her friend smile… laughing at her jokes… dancing with her at the concert as they sang along with Adele at the top of their lungs… holding her hand as she walked her home… and then they paused under the porch light, grinning together after their fantastic evening…

"I had a good night." whispered Bianca.

"Me too." said Marissa, grinning at how great this all felt.

And then, slowly, a sweet smile on her lips, Bianca leaned in to kiss her goodnight… soft lips, sweet breath, gentle tastes and muted sighs…

Marissa awoke with a start, strangely aroused. Her pulse was racing and her lips were tingling. _Did her mind really just go there!?_

Alarmed Marissa turned her head to check that Krystal was still sleeping. Having to share a room with you mother in a household as full as the Martins made having dreams like that a little awkward. But the fact she was having a dream like that about Bianca at all made her feel very unsettled. Bianca was her friend and Marissa had never… with a woman…

But her fingers traced her lips as the dream lingered.

_But she wasn't… she couldn't… _

They were friends, that was all. It was just a dream.

…

If was a few weeks later before Marissa met Bianca again. She wasn't exactly avoiding her… not for one fuzzy dream kiss… they had just been very busy. Bianca was still searching for her missing mom and dealing with the Miranda Centre crisis and Marissa had immigration on her back thanks to Tad and Cara's sham wedding. When JR offered her a chance to move into the mansion, for what felt like the hundredth time, Marissa knew this time she had to say yes… But not because of him… She was trying to save her law career by getting as far away from the illegal marriage as possible.

That day, Marissa had bumped into Bianca dropping AJ off at a kid's party. A friend from school, Amber, had invited the whole class to her birthday. Bianca offered to take her out for a coffee afterwards so they could catch up but Marissa broke the news that it was moving day for her. She was shifting her stuff out of the Martins house to the Chandler mansion. Of course Bianca was quick to offer her assistance and Marissa could hardly say no.

…

What unfolded later that afternoon highlighted once more how incredible Bianca could be. AJ and Miranda came back early from the party because AJ had been fighting. But it seemed the real victim was Miranda, being bullied because her mom was gay. Marissa could swear that she actually saw Bianca's heart break when Miranda told her what Amber had said. Bianca was so full of guilt that this was her fault and she should have done more to protect her child… but Marissa couldn't let her think that. Bianca was the most amazing mother… the most amazing person she had ever met! So she told her just that.

…

The next morning Marissa came down to a parlour to a grinning JR. He had had the room decorated with flowers and there was her favourite French pastries waiting on a plate for her breakfast. JR was certainly pushing the boat out on his seduction attempts.

Bianca chose that moment to interrupt. She needed a friend. She had arranged to meet Amber's mom, Tammy, to talk about the bullying and she needed back-up. Marissa followed her out of the house without a second's thought. JR looked so disappointed at her leaving though she did find herself giving him a brief kiss in the cheek as a thank you for his efforts.

When they got to Krystal's Marissa positioned herself behind the bar so she would be there if she was needed. It was quickly clear where Amber got her bullying techniques from. What came out of Tammy's mouth was one homophobic cliché after another. Marissa was itching to step in and spent the whole time glaring at Tammy in disgust. As the conversation got more heated Bianca, who had been trying so hard to stay calm and rational, exclaimed,

"I'm a mother just like you!"

The woman must have seem Marissa's glaring because she scowled right back,

"You are nothing like me, but you still think you should be able to marry your girlfriend over there…"

Before she knew what she was doing Marissa shouted back,

"Why shouldn't Bianca be able to marry whoever she wants?"

The woman got up in disgust them,

"Great; tag teamed by the lesbians!"

"She's not…" began Bianca.

"If you can't deal with people having a problem with it them maybe you need to go back into the closet!" Tammy cried before storming away.

"I'm not going anywhere!" exclaimed Bianca, although she finished rather lamely. "I'll see you at PTA!"

Bianca seemed a little mad that Marissa had stepped in when she did and was also worried that she'd been labelled a lesbian too by the bigot. But Marissa didn't mind… why should be worry about the thoughts of ignorant people.

"I'd be honoured and proud of people thought you'd choose me as your partner..!" she found herself saying. And then she realised she meant it. She wasn't gay… one dream kiss doesn't make you gay… but if she were, there wasn't a more incredible woman in the world than Bianca!

…


	2. Chapter 2

It was a few weeks later and Marissa was on her way to a meeting at the yacht club. She was glad to get out of the Mansion and away from JR; silently cursing Tad and Cara's sham marriage for forcing her out of the Martins house and now she had to spend every day avoiding JR's advances. That man wouldn't take no for an answer.

It was very early and the marina was practically deserted. But she saw two figures coming away from Jackson's yacht and moving towards a parked car. She recognised the Reverend Torres but it took her a moment longer to recognise the woman in his arms.

"Bianca!" Marissa exclaimed.

She ran down to the dock side as fast as she could.

Bianca unconscious body was draped over the Reverend's shoulder and turning her friend's face Marissa could see it was a mess of blood. She was in such a panic about Bianca that Marissa didn't really register the surprise and anger on the Reverend's face.

"What happened?" Marissa asked reaching for her phone to ring for an ambulance, looking between the priest and her phone.

"Marissa," he said "We don't have time for a phone call. We have to get her to hospital now! Help me get her into the car."

Knowing he was right, Marissa took his proffered keys and opened the passenger door.

"Get in first and help me support her." added Ricky.

Marissa obediently climbed into the back of the car and gathered Bianca onto her lap as the Revered lowered her inside.

"She'd come to see me about the wedding and just slipped on the gang plank as she was leaving. She hit her head quite hard." explained Ricky, as he gently folded Bianca's legs into the car before closing the door. Marissa was desperately checking Bianca's pulse and breathing. Her pulse was strong but her breathing sounded laboured.

Marissa got her phone out again.

"She doesn't sound good," she said to Ricky, "We should let the hospital know we are on our way."

"Let me," said Ricky, reaching in the open car window for her phone, "You should maybe do something to stop the bleeding… Here try this."

Marissa exchanged her phone for the cloth Ricky handed her and pressed it gently against Bianca's bloody forehead. After a brief moment on the phone, Ricky got into the driver's seat and they sped away from the marina.

…

Marissa couldn't take her eyes from Bianca's face. Already the right side was swollen and red under the layer of drying blood. She whispered reassurances as she prayed for her friend's safety. Her best friend barely showed any signs of life. Ricky was driving at speed, probably as worried as she was about Bianca. At this rate they would be at the hospital in moments.

…

A sudden violent movement shook Marissa away from her best friend's unconscious face. The car was moving at pace along a rough gravel drive, heading up into the woods.

"Wait, where are we going?" Marissa asked.

"It's a short cut." said Ricky.

"This is nowhere near the hospital." said Marissa, "We've been going in completely the wrong direction."

Ricky didn't speak. He took the corner fast, violently throwing Marissa and Bianca about in the back of the car.

"Careful!" exclaimed Marissa, "Are you trying to kill us!"

The silence that followed sent a nervous chill down Marissa's spine.

"Marissa." sighed Ricky," You have really bad timing."

Marissa looked from Bianca to Ricky. She noticed for the first time the scratches on Ricky's neck and the bruising on his knuckles as they grasped the steering wheel. Suddenly Marissa realised that the man in front of her was very dangerous indeed.

"Where are you taking us?" Marissa asked unable to stop the tremble in her voice.

Ricky didn't speak. He didn't even acknowledge her question, he just kept driving.

Marissa had never been so scared in her entire life.

…

When the car eventually stopped, Marissa couldn't stop the muffled scream into her hand. She had been trying to be brave, but all alone with her thoughts the terror was inescapable. Scenarios kept flashing through her head. Each was more horrible than the next and all ending in an anonymous shallow grave somewhere deep in the woods.

When Ricky got out, Marissa thought briefly about locking him out of the car, but the look in his eyes gave her pause. He opened the door beside her.

"Get out." He commanded.

"I'll scream!" said Marissa, her voice sounding small.

Ricky just smiled,

"You can make all the noise you like." He said. "There's no one for miles. Now get out."

Marissa obeyed, gently moving Bianca's head from her lap. Ricky roughly grabbed her arm and dragged her the rest of the way out. He pushed her against the side of the car and pulled her hands behind her back. Marissa realised he was tying her up.

"Why?" she croaked, her throat tight with fear.

"You'll have to ask 'sleeping beauty' here if you want to know more." he said, pointing to Bianca.

Bianca's skin was bone white except for the bright blood that was still trickling from her forehead and a purple bruise spreading out under her split lip.

"Bianca," she whispered. "Bianca. Oh God, please be alright."

The Reverend just laughed.

"Very sweet." he said.

He seemed satisfied with the bindings around Marissa's wrists and grabbed her by the back of the neck.

"If you don't give me trouble you will get through this in one piece." He whispered in her ear. "If not, Bianca is the only one I need to keep alive…"

With that he grabbed one of Bianca's wrists and yanked her violently from the car. Still firmly gripping Marissa's neck, and dragging Bianca's unconscious body behind him along the ground, he marched towards a nearby cabin hidden in the trees.

Marissa didn't struggle, she didn't dare. He left Bianca's unconscious body at the bottom of the porch steps as he forced Marissa inside, passed the lounge and into the bedroom. When Marissa saw the bed a new fear gripped her, but he bypassed the bed and shoved her into the walk-in closet and locked the door. Marissa slid down the wall her heart was pounding and tears poured down her cheeks. The terror was almost unbearable.

After moments Ricky returned, an unconscious Bianca draped over his shoulder. He dropped her roughly and began to tie her up as well. As he was binding Bianca's wrists, Marissa noticed her shoulder seemed misshaped; Ricky had probably dislocated it dragging her from the car. He then tied Bianca's feet tightly together. Ricky looked up at Marissa when he was done.

"So glad you're not giving me any trouble." He said a cheerful smile on his face, the falseness of which was sinister. He then proceeded to tie Marissa's ankles together, she didn't struggle. Marissa then found herself pushed onto the floor and turned her onto her front. He pulled her legs up behind her and tied them to her bound wrists, hogtied like a rodeo calf. "That should make sure it stays that way."

Marissa rolled onto her side with difficulty. Ricky was still smiling as he began unfastening the cap from a water bottle. Then he grabbed a handful of Marissa's hair and poured half the bottle down her throat. Marissa swallowed what she could and tried not to choke on the rest. Ricky then tried the same with Bianca, unsuccessfully; in the end he settled to simply pouring it over her face. The shock of the water must have had an effect on Bianca as she let out a small groan.

"That should keep you going until I get back." said the priest matter-of-factly.

"You're leaving us here!" gasped Marissa.

"You're my insurance." he said simply, before slamming the closet door, plunging Marissa into darkness; the only light coming from the narrow slats in the door panels.

…

Ricky's footsteps could be clearly heard walking away. After a while she thought she could hear the sound of a car driving off. At that moment Marissa breathed for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

Marissa knew the only hope they had was escape. Her arms and legs were already starting to cramp but if the circulation would return to her aching limbs, maybe she could unfasten the ropes.

Bianca was definitely coming too. She was no longer still and silent; in fact she was thrashing in her bonds and muttering as if trapped in a nightmare. Marissa thought she would be reliving Ricky's assault until she whimpered the name 'Michael'.

…

"Get the hell off me!" Bianca screamed, waking up with a jerk.

Marissa tried to sooth Bianca with her voice while her friend recovered her senses. Bianca wasn't hearing her,

"He's here." she muttered, still lingering in her nightmare, "It's happening again."

Marissa continued to talk softly and tried to reassure Bianca that they really were alone. It was hard to tell in the dark if Bianca was hearing her or not. Marissa was relieved when her friend's next response was more direct, although still clearly terrified.

"We're alone for now – But Ricky's coming back." said Bianca, biting back a sob, which was followed by a quiet groan. It took her a moment to continue in a whisper, "He's just like Michael…"

"Wait, who is Michael?" Marissa asked confused. "What is going on, Bianca? Why did Reverend Torres tie us up and drag us to a cabin in the middle of nowhere?"

Marissa felt a chill when Bianca focussed on her in the shadows and said,

"Because it wasn't safe to kill us yet…"

…

"Are you okay?" Bianca's asked. "Are you in pain?" This startled Marissa out of her morbid contemplation of Bianca's last words.

"I'm fine physically." said Marissa. It was a lie, her arms and legs were cramping and her neck ached, but she knew compared to what Bianca had been through she had no right to complain. "I just don't understand why this is happening."

Bianca nervously explained that Ricky was a murderer and responsible for Zach's death. He had figured out that Bianca knew the truth and gone after her. Bianca then paused, realising that her sister Kendall was still in danger – alone with this mad man.

"He could come after her." gasped Bianca, "like he came after us!" Her voice then dropped to a quiet sob, "Or worse he could do what Michael did to me."

Marissa quickly tried to calm her friend again.

"No, no. Bianca, she's strong just like you, don't forget that."

Bianca took a deep breath once again, holding in her fear, only to end with a whimper; she was obviously in a lot of pain.

"Who is Michael?" Marissa asked after a moment, "You keep bringing him up."

A moment of horror flashed in Bianca's eyes but she did a good job of covering it.

"I can't… It doesn't matter now." she said in a cautious tone.

Marissa couldn't let it drop. Partly because she wanted the whole picture; she needed to know why this nightmare was happening. But mostly she just wanted Bianca to keep talking. Blood still trickled from her forehead and Marissa was terrified that if Bianca passed out again she would never wake up.

Bianca looked close to breaking down again, but it was the edge of anger in her voice that surprised Marissa most.

"I hate this – How does this bastard keep doing this to me?"

"Michael Cambias," continued Bianca, whispering the name like a swear word. "He was horrible – he stole from my mom, but when she and Kendall nailed him for it, he… took it out on me."

"Took it out on you?" Marissa asked. She wasn't entirely sure what this story had to do with their present predicament. Had Bianca been kidnapped before? Beaten up?

The sorrow in Bianca's eyes was painful to witness when she answered,

"He raped me."

"Bianca!" gasped Marissa, never expecting that horrendous answer.

"I'm okay." said Bianca, gathering strength from Marissa's concern. "Or I was until..."

"Oh God!" said Marissa, catching her breath, "Ricky didn't do anything like that to you did he?"

Bianca's eyes brimmed with tears,

"No…" she whispered. "Maybe it was just the way he came at me… the feeling like there was no way out… " the tears began to flow properly as Bianca sobbed, "I promised I would never go through this again!"

…

The silence that followed Bianca's admission was hard to break, neither woman knowing what to say next.

"The Miranda Centre makes so much sense now." said Marissa at last. She'd always admired Bianca's dedication to the charity she'd founded for women and children in need. Now she understood why it was so close to her heart.

"She was the product of that nightmare," explained Bianca, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face as she thought of her daughter. "It's amazing isn't it, how something so beautiful could come out of something so ugly."

Marissa felt her heart ache for Bianca, she always admired her friend, but now…

"No, no, no, what's amazing is you! I mean how did you do it? How do you get through a trauma like that?"

"I picked up a gun and killed the man who hurt me."

The statement was flat and emotionless, but the sobs followed as Bianca went on to explain.

"He was going to hurt me… rape me again. I went to tell him it was over; that I was pregnant. My baby was proof he had violated me. He only saw the baby as a way to get hold of the Cambias fortune. He thought he could keep the baby, and keep hurting me. When he came at me I had to stop him."

Marissa wasn't sure how many more of these harrowing confessions she could bear to hear from Bianca's lips. Bianca had been through hell, but apparently come through it all. She was a wonderfully kind, compassionate and loyal woman, who had fast become one of Marissa's dearest friends. The thought of any one hurting such an amazing person was abhorrent to Marissa, and yet it seemed to have happened again and again.

"Mother of two - Founder of the Miranda centre - Murderer. Quite a résumé." said Bianca.

"There is a difference between self-defence and murder." insisted Marissa.

"Spoken like a true lawyer." said Bianca with a trace of self-pity.

"No! Spoken like a friend."

The smile returned to Bianca's battered face and Marissa's heart melted again.

"You don't have to pretend like this is normal." said Bianca.

"I'm not." said Marissa surprised by the statement, "I definitely wouldn't call this normal. But God Bianca! If I was in awe of you before! I mean how do you…? You have it together all the time, how?"

"I put it behind me." she said, tears threatening to return again," It didn't happen overnight but I finally got there."

"You are the strongest person I know!" sighed Marissa. Even beaten half to death Bianca was the one comforting her and Marissa didn't have a scratch on her.

"If I'm so strong." sobbed Bianca, unable to push down the fear any longer, "Then why do I see Michael Cambias' face every time I close my eyes?!"

Marissa knew this was the moment she had to be there for Bianca. She had to be the strong one. Her friend was barely holding it together and after what she had been through she shouldn't have to.

"You're seeing him because we are in a really messed up place right now. Because what Ricky did has brought up a lot of stuff and sometimes emotions take over. You can't be in control all the time."

"If you haven't notice," said Bianca, trying to lighten the mood, "I'm not very good at giving that up."

…

It felt like Marissa had been picking at the ropes binding her wrists for an eternity. She couldn't get much purchase except with her finger nails. Her finger tips were bleeding but the ropes were still just as tight.

Bianca shivered.

"Cold." she said, "Are you freezing? It's freezing in here."

The temperature had certainly dropped perhaps night had fallen; it was hard to judge in the dark of the closet. Marissa had been feeling the chill through her jacket. She suddenly realised Bianca was wearing a lot less than she was.

"Cold is one of the symptoms of shock." said Bianca, her teeth chattering.

"Shock is one of the symptoms we've got." said Marissa with a melancholy smile. "Here let me get closer. It's going to be alright"

Marissa wriggled forward, the ropes digging into her skin. She pressed herself up as close to Bianca as possible trying to share every inch of body heat she could.

"Is that better?"

"Thank you." said Bianca although the edge of discomfort was evident in her voice. Marissa tried to nestle into a more comfortable position only for Bianca to gasp in pain, something nasty had definitely happened to her shoulder. Marissa tried again, moving onto her side, this time she was rewarded with a sigh from Bianca, her breath cool against Marissa forehead. Lying as she was now, Marissa's shoulder was protesting, but she would go through any amount of pain to give Bianca the comfort she needed.

Marissa was concerned; cold could also a symptom of blood loss or head trauma. She was in no real position to help Bianca if she got any worse. Neither of them had dared to mention out loud Bianca's head injury. She was fairly lucid at the moment but Marissa was petrified about the very real possibilities of concussion. She had to keep Bianca talking more for assurance that her friend was still alright than anything else. As determined as ever, Marissa picked at the ropes with bloody fingers.

"I'm sorry I got you into this." said Bianca.

"I'm not!" insisted Marissa. Then she realised her statement might have sounded a little weird. "I mean don't get me wrong, it's not my idea of fun to be bound and locked in a closet."

"Party-pooper." said Bianca, Marissa could feel the smile against her brow.

"Yeah, that right there is why I'm not sorry. The way you're dealing with this…"

"I'm not sure I would say dealing."

"I would." said Marissa. She knew if she'd been through just half of what Bianca had suffered she'd be a complete mess. "You went from hyperventilating to cracking jokes. You're incredible."

"I'm faking." admitted Bianca.

"That's something else we have in common."

Marissa wasn't sure if she should have said that. She was meant to be being strong for Bianca. She needed to find a new focus.

"Do you know the song 'Forever More'?" she asked

This was obviously too much of a change of tack for Bianca.

"Where did that come from?"

"My dad – not David- used to sing it to me." Marissa smiled at the memory and began to sing. Her throat was a little dry, but her voice was clear and steady.

"_All through the night, _

_Near and far, we will be together._

_So hush, don't you cry._

_You will be in my arms forever more."_

Marissa was suddenly a little bit self-conscious about the lyrics of the song, especially when she was snuggled this close to Bianca.

"That's calming isn't it?" said Marissa even thought her heart was suddenly racing a thousand times a second. She wasn't entirely sure where this new nervousness was coming from.

"I'm sorry Ricky did this to you." said Bianca, softly, not wanting to break the mood. "But I'm really glad I'm not alone."

"Me too!" agreed Marissa as she nestled closer.

…

"My mom sang to me too." said Bianca after a moment. "It was this silly lullaby, but it always made me feel better."

Bianca's voice was sweet and beautiful as she sang her mother's song.

"_Hush-a-bye, _

_Don't you cry._

_Go to sleep my little baby._

_When you wake, _

_You shall have,_

_All the pretty little ponies."_

"That was a pretty song." said Marissa with a smile, it was good to keep Bianca talking "But how about a livelier song to keep us awake."

"Like what?" asked Bianca, obviously playing along with the charade that everything was still okay.

Marissa racked her brain for something, anything. In the end she settled on one of her mother's favourites.

"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall?"

Bianca let out a soft laugh only to end with a wince of pain; the movement had clearly jarred her shoulder. It took her a moment to continue,

"You're sister Babe made me sing that, to time my contraction when Miranda was born. I think I sung it through about fifty times."

"Oh, I'm sorry." said Marissa. The cruel mix up of Miranda and AJ at birth and her family's part in it was one of the tragedies of Bianca's life she now knew well. Before this abduction, she thought it had been the only one.

"Don't be sorry." said Bianca, "The moment my beautiful girl was born was one of the happiest of my life; even if it was sandwiched between two nightmares. I wouldn't trade that time for anything."

"You're amazing." said Marissa again; she was running out of adjectives to describe how awesome Bianca was.

"When Babe went to get help after the flood and I was all alone in that hut with Miranda. I think I experience my first moments of true peace in over a year."

"Oh yes, the flood." said Marissa, remembering the notes she'd had to compile for the custody hearing against Bianca's now ex-wife Reese. "And wasn't Gabby born during the tornado tragedy."

"Just after the storm… why?"

"Just remind me to keep a wide berth next time you're expecting."

Bianca laughed lightly at the bad joke only to end with another grimace. After a moment she found a comfortable position again.

"So are we singing or not?" Marissa asked, trying hard to keep things positive.

…

They had gotten to '_seventy-three bottles of beer on the wall'_ and Marissa was concerned. Bianca was in a bad way. The deterioration began slowly but now she was muddling the numbers. Her head injury was clearly worsening. Marissa didn't know what to do, so she kept on singing, praying for help to come soon or that the damn knots would loosen.

"I'm sorry," sobbed Bianca, mid-verse. "I can't sing any more… I just… My head hurts so much…"

"Oh God, Bianca, you should have said something. The last thing I want to do is hurt you."

"I know." Bianca's voice was suddenly quiet. "I would never want any harm to come to you either. Not ever, Marissa."

"I'm fine." said Marissa, tugging at a promising knot. "If I could just get out of these damn ropes."

There definitely was some give somewhere.

"Hey, are you ready to get out of here?" Marissa asked.

"Is that a trick question?" Bianca replied, a spark of hope burning in her eyes.

"No." said Marissa, as she tugged harder at the loosening rope. "I think I got some of these knots."

She pulled and twisted her wrist. It felt like the skin was ripping off her hand but something had certainly loosened.

"I wish I could help." whispered Bianca.

"No, no I've almost got it."

Marissa bit back a scream as she pulled with all her might and her left hand slid free. She tried not to look too hard at her bloody hand as she manoeuvred into a seated position and began to work on freeing her other hand and her feet.

"Free." said Bianca, a smile appearing on her face.

"Almost." said Marissa. Her arms screamed in protest and her legs felt numb, like they belonged to someone else but Marissa was now free of the ropes. Marissa moved to untie Bianca, struggling over the knots with numb fingers. Bianca shrieked; it was loud and full of pain.

"Oh God, Bianca your shoulder, I'm so sorry." cried Marissa. She had only moved Bianca's arm slightly to get to the largest knot.

"I'm good." said Bianca through gritted teeth, "Don't stop."

"I'll be more gentle." reassured Marissa as she tried to support Bianca's damaged arm while she pulled at the knot.

Every slight movement was joined by a whimper from Bianca, but she wouldn't let Marissa stop until the ropes were untied.

"Do you want to sit up?" Marissa asked when Bianca was finally free. She was lying at an awkward angle; she had to be in considerable pain.

"I don't think I could." said Bianca, "I'll just stay like this, I'm okay."

Marissa dragged herself up to sit with her back against the wall, her legs were now shooting with 'pins and needles' as the circulation returned. She starred for a long moment at the locked closet door.

"You know." said Marissa, "If we were in a movie we could pick the lock with a bobby pin."

"Do you have one?"

"No," said Marissa, smiling at the irony, "I was hoping you would."

"Okay then," said Bianca, "We're just going to have to use brute force."

"I like the 'we'." said Marissa looking at her immobile friend.

She struggled to her feet.

"What do you think, a good kick to break the door down?"

"Maybe." said Bianca, from her prone position on the floor.

There was nothing to brace against, but Marissa squared up to the door and steadied herself.

"On three!" said Marissa, syking herself up, Bianca joined in the count down "1… 2… 3…"

Marissa gave the door a hefty kick only to fall backwards into Bianca's legs. The door didn't budge.

"Ow." said Marissa, her foot throbbing. "I think we need a new plan."

"How about the slats." said Bianca, "They will be a weak point. I've had to have Gabby and Miranda's wardrobe fixed twice after their bedroom soccer matches… now banned of course."

"…Of course."

Marissa smiled at Bianca's words, marvelling at how she could still be so positive, so calm.

This time Marissa braced herself on the floor and aimed at the slatted door panel. The first kick knocked out four slats. It was the work of moments to give Marissa enough room to crawl through.

"Time to call for help." said Marissa.

The bedroom beyond was empty, and so Marissa moved into the main room of the cabin. The whole placed look dusty and unloved, probably someone's long abandoned holiday home. Marissa found a phone on the wall by the kitchen, the line was disconnected. The only way to get help for Bianca was to go out and find it.

She made her way back to the closet to update Bianca on their situation.

"I don't want to leave you here like this." said Marissa.

"I don't think you have a choice." insisted Bianca. "We need help, Marissa... I need help."

It was the first time Bianca had admitted just how much Ricky had hurt her and Marissa knew she was her best friend's only hope.

…

"You'll be okay?" Marissa asked as she tried to make Bianca more comfortable with pillows and blankets she had snatched from the bed.

"Trust me, I'm not going anywhere." said Bianca. It wasn't a very good joke but it was enough to reassure Marissa that her best friend would keep on fighting for life until she returned.

"You'd better not." said Marissa with a smile and then she found herself kissing Bianca on the lips, urgently and lovingly.

"I'll be a quick as I can." she whispered. "Stay safe."

Bianca watched her leave with wide eyes.

Marissa found an old wool coat on a hook by the door and after a search also uncovered a working flashlight under the kitchen sink. Marissa stepped into the night-time forest and hoped there were no bears in the woods.

…

Marissa followed the gravel road down a long steep hill and eventually came to a wide curve where the road forked. She was trying to decide which way to go when to her amazement she saw headlights travelling towards her. It was a car. Marissa jumped into the middle of the road waving her arms, flashing the flashlight and shouting at the top of her lungs. The car had no choice but to stop, Marissa was not going to get out of the way. Marissa couldn't see the driver clearly against the glare of his head lights.

"Please you have to help me, my friend Bianca, she needs to get to hospital."

"Bianca!" the man exclaimed, as if recognising the name.

"Please, do you have a phone?"

"I… I can't stop." The man started the car and moved as if to run her over.

"NO!" screamed Marissa throwing herself on the hood of the car, "She'll die, please she'll die. You have to help me please."

She could see the man's face better now, it wasn't someone she really recognised, maybe she had seen him getting take-out at Krystal's one or twice. He was staring at her, seeing for the first time her mangled left hand and Bianca's blood which covered her clothes under the coat.

There was a moment of real indecision on his face before he spoke again.

"Here." he said, thrusting his mobile phone to Marissa, "Take it. I can't stay."

Marissa clutched the phone to her chest even as her reluctant saviour began to drive away.

"But I don't know where I am!" Marissa screamed after him.

"About twenty miles along Quarry Road!" The man shouted back before taking the right fork and speeding away.

Marissa rang 911, delighted that the phone had such a strong signal out in the hills. When the woman at the call-centre answered Marissa broke down in tears. The woman asked her to stay put but Marissa was desperate to get back to Bianca. She left the flashlight by the road pointing the way and hurried back along the steep gravel road. The moon lit her way and all the time the woman in the call centre (she never did get her name) kept her company. She wasn't even in sight of the cabin when she heard the sirens in the distance and a police car pulled up behind her. Rescue had arrived in the form of Brot. He helped Marissa into his car and they sped up to the cabin the ambulance not too far behind.

Marissa just wanted to run to Bianca and make sure she was alright. Brot put a restraining hand on her shoulder and told her that she had done all she could, that the cavalry had arrived and she only had to look after herself now. He was right about the cavalry, there was an ambulance and four police cars all parked outside the tiny cabin in the middle of nowhere. Help was here; they had been saved.

Marissa looked down at the phone in her hand and wondered about her reluctant rescuer. She hoped to find his name somewhere on the phone but it was a cheap disposable thing and there was only one name and number logged – Jane - maybe his girlfriend or something.

Brot said he'd take care of the phone while a paramedic began to look Marissa over. Her wrists were a mess where the ropes had cut into her flesh and her fingernails were splintered and scabbed with dried blood. Marissa found herself wrapped in a blanket, while the paramedic smiled reassuringly at her as he tended her wounds.

All the while she couldn't keep her eyes off the cabin. Two police officers and two medics had entered. After a few moments a third paramedic rushed in with a bag of equipment. His expression of concern terrified Marissa most of all. Bianca had to be alright, she just had to be!

It seemed like an age before her dearest friend was wheeled out on a trolley. Marissa was pleased to see that Bianca's eyes where open and that she was still conscious. She looked far from okay, her head wound looked awful, especially under the red and blue flashing lights of the emergency vehicles but she was still alive somehow.

As Marissa watched the paramedics load Bianca into the ambulance, Brot kept talking to her making sure she was okay. Marissa was shaking despite the blanket and knew she was suffering from shock. Brot and the paramedic helped her to her feet and supported her as they walked towards the ambulance. Marissa's legs felt strange after the hours of captivity and the long march to get help. Both legs felt like rubber, barely supporting her weight as she shuffled along. Marissa was lifted into the ambulance and strapped in by the smiling paramedic. Another busily worked on Bianca, fixing her up to a drip and injecting something into her arm. As they drove off Marissa reached out and took one of Bianca's hands and was delighted when Bianca squeezed back. Marissa swore to stay by Bianca's side no matter what.

…


	3. Chapter 3

JR was the one to collect Marissa from the hospital once her wounds were treated and her left hand bandaged from where she had injured it freeing herself from the ropes. Marissa had wanted to stay by Bianca's bed side but she had her family around her and the doctors were the ones who insisted she go home and get some rest. She was shaky and every few second the ordeal reared up in her mind; she found herself going over and over every way it could have gone wrong…

She was grateful to JR at first for taking such good care of her but then she began to realise that he was using the situation to get closer to her. He hadn't changed at all. He was still only thinking of himself. She knew JR wasn't really what she needed.

Then out of the blue Jackson rang from the hospital. Bianca had wanted her to be told that Kendall was safe and found. Just hearing Bianca's name and suddenly Marissa felt able to smile again. Then Jackson handed the phone over to Bianca and Marissa felt dizzy with relief; so happy to hear her voice. She was a little quiet but she was alive.

As Bianca wished her goodnight Marissa grinned widely. JR was still watching her, a wide smile on his own lips. She knew he thought he was winning her over and right now she didn't really have the strength to fight it. She let him take her up to the room he'd had prepared for her and lay down under the blankets.

JR kissed her brow.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked lingering by her bed side.

Marissa smiled patiently at him.

"No I'll be fine." she said. "Goodnight JR and thank you."

JR nodded but then surged in and kissed her lips. She pushed him away, suddenly angry at the presumption.

"Don't." she warned.

"I'm sorry." he said, boyishly ashamed. "That was over the mark, but you know where I am if you need me."

He wished her sweet dreams, switched off the wall light and closed the door. Her anger at JR mutated in the darkness and an unexpected fear crept in. The taste of his lips on hers stirred the memory of another kiss in the dark. In all the trauma and confusion it had become a background blur but Marissa's stomach turned over at the memory. She had kissed Bianca, she had been worried and desperate… but she had _really_ kissed her…

_But she wasn't… she couldn't…_

Marissa lay with her eyes wide open, nervous at the thought of closing them again. She didn't like the idea of being alone with her fear… but now she was afraid of Bianca… what she would think of her?

She could only hope she wouldn't remember.

…

When Maia told Marissa, Bianca was waiting in the parlour to see her; she hurried through eager to see her friend who had only just been discharged from hospital.

When she entered she found Bianca with her back to her, gazing out of the windows.

"Hi." Marissa called, disrupting her friend from her day dream.

Bianca turned and gave her a broad smile. She looked well despite the stitches still visible on the cut on her forehead and her left arm was in a sling.

"Hi."

"Hi." said Marissa again just so delighted to see her in one piece.

"Hi." echoed Bianca with a light laugh. "I… I just came to see how you're doing." She gave Marissa a long searching stare. "JR said that he is taking good care of you. Is that a good thing?"

Marissa sighed.

"If I set limits." She really didn't want to talk about JR. "How are you?"

Bianca tried to make out that she was fine but she couldn't keep the pretence up for longer than a few seconds. Marissa led her over to the couch so they could talk properly. They'd just survived a nightmare at the hands of a murderer; you'd have to be crazy to be okay with it. It was also bringing back Bianca's rape which couldn't be easy.

"…I mean seeing Ricky carrying you unconscious like that, that image still gives me chills." sighed Marissa

Bianca recoiled suddenly.

"Oh… um… if my being here is reminding you of everything that happened, I don't want to make things harder."

She was actually making a move to go. All she'd been though and she was still putting others first. Marissa smiled in amazement.

"No!" she exclaimed, grasping Bianca's right hand with her bandaged left, to stop her leaving. "It reminds me how strong I can be. What we can do together."

Bianca smiled back, but there was still a nervousness at it's edge, she was clearly still scared.

"That's one way of looking at it."

"Maybe that's what happens when you're tied up in a closet together?" Marissa joked trying to break the tension only Bianca wasn't letting it go.

"No, no…" said Bianca reaching up to put a hand on Marissa's shoulder. "It's so much more than that… You saved my life that day. I have no doubt about it."

"We saved each other." Marissa replied. How could Bianca be surprised that she would do everything she could to save her? "You think that I was being the brave one but knowing you and the person you are… Knowing that we were in it together… It gave me the strength I needed…"

Bianca still looked so lost and scared. There was only one thing left to do.

"Come here." said Marissa and pulled her into a careful hug.

They drew comfort from each other's arms for a moment, but then Bianca pulled away.

She left with a bad joke and crooked smile.

It was only after she was gone that Marissa realised that some of Bianca nervousness might have had something to do with that dumb kiss.

Now things were suddenly awkward between them and it was all her fault.

…

A week later and the sun was shining. Marissa trotted down the stairs in a wonderful mood. JR had suggested that they do something today and Marissa head was full of thoughts of fun in the park with AJ. Maybe they could invite Bianca and the girls too. She stopped short when she saw JR briefcase in hand just heading out the door.

"Hey, are you working today?" she asked, surprised.

"The hospital just called. Some important board meeting I have to attend."

"Oh." said Marissa as thoughts of the park quickly evaporated. "I thought… oh well never mind."

"What?" asked JR, he had clearly forgotten their plans.

"Oh… well you said maybe we would do something today. But it's totally cool, you have to work…"

A small grin appeared on JR's face.

"You're disappointed, aren't you?"

"I'm not disappointed…" insisted Marissa, "You just said you wanted to do something today and I thought it might be nice…"

"Well that's progress." said JR, "You wanting to do something with me!"

"I guess it is."

"So we can do something later… if that's something that you'd like?"

Marissa was a little confused by this. JR wasn't being his usually pushy self. He apparently was making an effort to let her have her space and make her own rules. She realised that his new tack might actually be working… she had been looking forward to spending the day with JR. So much for her plans not to get sucked in.

She sent him off to do what he had to do, while her own head was filled with a new plan for today. She needed to go and talk to Bianca!

…

She called ahead to the Miranda Centre but they told her that Bianca was at hospital with a 'client'. If she was working it probably wasn't a good time to disturb her, but Marissa found herself searching the corridors of Pine Valley hospital searching out her friend just the same.

Who she found instead was David, making himself at home in the Doctor's lounge. He shouldn't be there, his medical licence was revoked, but it seemed he had a new scheme to get it back. Marissa wasn't sure she wanted to know.

David asked her how she was doing. He'd called a few times but Marissa hadn't felt like speaking to him.

"I'm fine." she said.

David sighed,

"That's what Bianca said."

Marissa's ears pricked up.

"Wait, you talked to her?"

"Yeah, a little while ago and didn't seem like she was fine to me…"

"What do you mean?"

Marissa's head was suddenly filled with Bianca traumatised and alone,

"… which is why I'm a little concerned about how you might be feeling…" continued David, not hearing the question.

"No, David, I'm fine!" insisted Marissa, "What was the matter with Bianca?"

"She just looked like she was struggling. Like she was putting up a brave front but honestly…"

Marissa didn't wait to hear any more. She turned and left. Bianca needed her. She had to find her!

…

Marissa seemed to know exactly where to find Bianca… it was almost like the pull of an invisible thread. She found her standing on the Marina, her arm now out of it's sling. She was staring up at her Uncle's yacht, all cordoned off with police tape. This was the place her night of hell started.

"Hey you!" Marissa called out as she approached and her friend almost jumped out of her skin.

Marissa hurried to her side.

"Bianca, what happened?"

"I don't know." sobbed Bianca, looking around like she hardly knew where she was. "I don't have any idea why this is happening to me!"

She walked away from Marissa's touch and away from the boat.

"There's nobody there!" she said gesturing up towards the yacht. "Ricky isn't hiding in one of the life boats, I know that! But why am I shaking… why am I so scared? Scared of nothing… nothing..!"

Marissa hurried towards her again, reaching out. It was terrible to see Bianca so upset.

Bianca quickly tried to shake off her concern… trying to pull herself together on her own.

"After all this therapy I should know how to handle this." she said taking another step back. That was almost a joke.

"Listen I was there too." said Marissa, not letting her take this on all on her own. "We were both scared."

Bianca shook her head, tears in her eyes now.

"But look at you… and look at me."

"Yeah… look at me. I'm sleeping at night with the lights on the first time since I was seven! I hear a noise out in the hallway and I'm jumping out of my skin… even though it's only AJ coming to kiss me goodnight! When I think about what could have happened I break out in a cold sweat! That's how I'm dealing with this!"

"So what do you do?"

Marissa sighed. What did she do?

"Last night I had a pint of rocky road ice-cream but I should called my friend Bianca and have her talk me down. That's what you should do. If thing get this bad call me!"

"That's hard for me." said Bianca taking another step back. Any further and she would fall from the boardwalk.

"What to need someone?" asked Marissa, grasping her friend's hands and holding then to her chest. "There is nothing wrong with needing somebody!"

Bianca stood staring into her eyes for a second too long and Marissa held her breath expecting something to happen, but not sure what.

"Marissa…" whispered Bianca staring at Marissa a moment longer, but then she turned to step away. "I can't do this anymore!"

Marissa had to grab her before she stepped off the edge of the pier.

"Careful." she exclaimed, pulling her well back from the drop. Then she stood frozen holding Bianca tightly in her arms.

Bianca pushed her back like she was on fire!

"Bianca, please tell me what's going on?" begged Marissa hating to see her friend so distraught.

"This is a bad idea." said Bianca still trying to get away.

Marissa had to chase her.

"Wait… no wait!"

Bianca slowed to a stop and let Marissa catch her up.

Marissa began to realise this was more than just being afraid of Ricky. Bianca was afraid of her. Was it because of the kiss? Because that moment had been on Marissa's mind a lot lately too. And the more she thought about it, the less scary to was becoming. But what she didn't know was if Bianca was angry about the kiss or if maybe she felt something too.

She just needed to hear Bianca say it.

"Just tell me what's wrong." begged Marissa.

"Marissa I…" stammered Bianca.

Just then Marissa's phone rang. It was JR's number but the voice on the line was the manager of the yacht club. Apparently JR had been in a fight and needed someone to drive him home. She looked across the parking lot to the Yacht Club.

"Is everything alright?" Bianca asked stepping closer for the first time.

"_No."_ said the little voice in Marissa's head.

"JR's is in the bar at the yacht club and got into some kind of fight. I should go."

"Marissa!" Bianca cried calling her back. "You still love him don't you?"

Marissa's head spun at the sound at that… did she love JR? If she could be honest with herself she was more likely to be falling in love with the woman right in front of her. If only she knew if Bianca felt the same…

Bianca must have noticed something in her expression because she quickly back tracked.

"I had no right to press you."

"Bianca, I asked you to watch my back when it comes to getting sucked back into a relationship with JR. And that's what you're doing I want you to be honest!"

"I want that too."

But the bigger question was; was JR really what she wanted?

"Bianca, if there is a reason why I shouldn't be with JR..?" Marissa asked, fishing for the answer she wanted badly to hear but Bianca wasn't going to bite.

"I just want you to be happy." said Bianca, "So if JR is the one that makes that happen then I am one hundred per cent behind you."

Now that was something Marissa never expected to hear.

…

Marissa was a little mad that her moment with Bianca had been interrupted by JR. Especially when she found out that his terrible wound that stopped him from driving was a tiny nick in his lip. She was even less impress when she found out that the punch that did it came from Scott. What had JR done to goad his cousin when he knew that he was going through the trauma of losing the baby and possibly losing Madison as well!

Scott came with his confession and went just as quickly but Marissa was quick to text him and tell him that she was worried about him.

Scott came back to the Mansion just moments later and told her not to worry. He was more worried about her. About her letting JR back in. Marissa tried to say that she was only there of AJs sake but Scott wasn't buying it.

"Why, Marissa." He pleaded. "Why are you trying to get back with JR. You can do so much better. You could be with someone who cares about someone besides himself…"

When he left Marissa found herself scrolling down the phone book on her cell… his words ringing in her ears… and the name her finger stopped at was Bianca Montgomery…

_But she wasn't… she couldn't… could she?_

…


	4. Chapter 4

Marissa, caught sight of Bianca through the window to Krystal's and hurried in eager to show Bianca the amazing gift JR had presented her with. Out of the blue he had handed her the most thoughtful present she had ever received. Maybe there was hope for him after all?

Bianca grinned widely even before Marissa had opened the parcel containing the music box, so special because it played her father's song. She made a joke about how unexpectedly thoughtful the gift was as most of JR's presents came from his secretary with the corporate credit card. But then Marissa paused. She felt a sudden surge of suspicion as she said the words out loud. She remembered that yesterday, right here in this restaurant, Bianca had something to give her before JR interrupted their ice-cream party… a few hours later JR presented her with this music box in the park. She quickly put two and two together.

Marissa looked guiltily at the music box in her hand. This was from Bianca! How had she not seen that at the time?

"It's amazing." said Bianca smiling warmly.

"It is." said Marissa cautiously. "It's from you isn't it? This was too thoughtful… too personal a gift to come from JR."

Bianca's smile faltered.

"I just thought it would mean more coming from JR." she said nervously.

"How can you think that!" gasped Marissa. "This is the most amazing… most beautiful…"

Unable to find the words Marissa simply wrapped her arms around Bianca and gave her a big hug.

"…Thank you!"

She held Bianca for a long time… her head going through what happened with JR in the park. She had let him kiss her because she had been so overwhelmed by the beauty of the gift! But now knowing it came from Bianca…

The image of kissing Bianca popped into her head instead of JR.

Heat filled Marissa's cheeks and she quickly pulled away from Bianca's embrace.

"Are you alright?" Bianca asked.

Marissa swallowed nervously, sideswiped by these confusing thoughts.

"I'm fine." she said quickly, trying to centre herself. "Just please promise me that you won't do this again."

"Do what?"

"Help JR." stammered Marissa, trying to find focus. "If I'm going to give him a chance it has to be him I'm giving a chance to."

"Of course." said Bianca with a wide smile.

Suddenly Marissa realised why Bianca hadn't given her the gift. After that kiss she probably didn't want to give Marissa the wrong idea. She plainly just wanted to be friends. Marissa building something more out this would be a mistake. Bianca wanted her to be with JR; that was clear now. What was less clear was if JR was really who Marissa wanted.

Luckily the waiter arrived with Bianca's order and was enough of a distraction for Marissa to direct her mind and the conversation elsewhere. They talked about the kids and maybe having a girls night out together to have some fun.

Maybe Bianca had the right idea; it was better to just be friends. It was certainly less confusing.

…

When she got home Marissa was met by an eager JR. He wanted to take her out… he apparently had a great night planned for tomorrow, but Marissa had to remind him that she was going with Krystal and the kids to the cinema. She offered him the chance to come too, they needed more family time, but JR didn't look happy about it.

"How about tonight instead?" he asked.

"I already have plans with Bianca." she said quickly.

"Well can't you change them, I'm sure she'll understand." He was giving her his sad little boy smile and somehow it wasn't working anymore. She was too looking forward to spending time with Bianca to let him her charm her into changing her mind

…

Bianca called about an hour later cancelling their night out. Something had come up at work. It would be an understatement to say that Marissa was disappointed.

"But tonight doesn't have to be a waste," said Bianca, "There is still plenty of time for you to go have some fun."

"Well, JR did offer to take me out." admitted Marissa.

"There you go then." said Bianca, but Marissa paused, this was way too convenient…

"Wait… did he put you up to this?"

"What?"

"JR! Did he ask you to drop out?"

There was a silence at the end of the line for a moment.

"He just wants a chance to make you happy." said Bianca eventually.

"But I was really looking forward to a girl's night out." said Marissa.

"I know." said Bianca sadly. "But I really do have to work."

"And you didn't have anything to do with any of this date?" Marissa asked.

There was actually a gentle laugh from Bianca's end of the phone.

"Well JR did stop by the office earlier to thank me for how well the music box worked with you. He tried to tell me about his date plans but remembering your warning I told him that it needs to come from his heart or it won't be him wooing you… it would be me…"

The words hung there for a moment as Marissa tried to digest them… A part of her was beginning to realise that Bianca wooing her was exactly what she wanted.

"So I can have a rain check on our night out?" Marissa asked nervously.

"Of course." said Bianca, "You have fun with JR."

"Thank you." said Marissa, although she didn't mean it. It hurt that Bianca was avoiding her and pushing her towards JR. She just didn't know what to do about it.

…

It was almost midnight and there was a loud knocking on the door to Wildwind. Bianca opened it to find a distraught looking Marissa on the doorstep.

Marissa didn't say a word, just flung her arms around her best friend and sobbed into her shoulder.

"Oh god!" gasped Bianca, "What happened."

It took Marissa quite a while to pull herself together. By then Bianca had gotten her to the couch and they were sat side by side.

"I'm sorry." said Marissa, wiping her eyes with a tissue and blowing her nose. "I know it's silly. It was just a play."

Bianca stroked a consoling hand down her back.

"Of course it's not silly."

"It's just it was so… it brought it all back." said Marissa, feeling the tears beginning again.

"Shh." soothed Bianca putting an arm around Marissa to draw her into her side again. "Although I will throttle JR when I see him! Taking you to see _Angel's Breath_… Anyone who is anyone knows what that play is about."

Marissa sniffed.

"It was just JR proving he doesn't know me at all."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I asked you not to." said Marissa with sigh and then she remembered why she had asked. She felt suddenly self-conscious about how comfortable she had made herself against Bianca's shoulder. It didn't help that Bianca was looking incredible adorable dressed in loose a sweatshirt and pants.

Marissa sat up slowly.

"I'm so sorry." she stammered.

"I told you." said Bianca. "You don't have to be sorry. It's what friends are for."

Marissa found herself gazing at Bianca's smile, which had a nervous tinge to its edge.

"Yeah but it's so late. I must have woken you up." said Marissa.

"Which is a good thing, as I'd fallen asleep on the couch."

"So I woke you up to go to bed."

"Precisely." said Bianca.

Marissa held Bianca's gaze as a strange sort of expectancy came over her; that something should happen now. She found herself distracted by the way Bianca parted her lips and a piece of her remembered how soft those lips felt against her own. If she were to just lean forward and close her eyes…

"Speaking of bed." said Marissa, quickly looking away to hide her unwanted urge. "I should really be getting home."

Her face fell at the thought. She knew JR would probably be waiting up for her and she really didn't want to face his school boy apology and pleas of forgiveness.

"It's late." said Bianca, as if reading her mind. "If you can't face JR tonight, you could stay here..."

Marissa looked a little startled at the offer, considering where her mind had been a moment before, but Bianca hadn't finished speaking,

"…After all." continued Bianca. "There are about a million guest rooms in this place."

Marissa gave Bianca a grateful smile.

"Thanks. You know, there is no place I'd rather be."

…

_Marissa was watching the car tumble and tumble and she ran after it, knowing her parents were inside, knowing she had to save them. As the car finally stopped its roll she reached out to pull open the twisted metal of the car door, her mother's screams from the passenger side so loud and terrible. Then there was the sensation of white heat and a noise so loud it drowned out the screams as a huge fire ball exploded; knocking her away, her own scream of horror on her lips._

…

Marissa awoke to find herself already sitting up, her body cool with sweat and her throat raw from crying out. But she felt warm arms around her, rocking her, a calming voice in her ear, and light kisses soothing her brow… Marissa, still half in shock from the dream, turned into the embrace, climbing onto the lap, resting her head on their chest; curling up like a child into a pair of comforting arms… it was only as her senses returned that she realised the person holding her so tenderly was Bianca.

"That was quite a nightmare." said Bianca running her fingers through Marissa's hair. Marissa only nodded her head, still revelling in the refuge of the other woman's arms.

"I woke you up again." apologised Marissa, unable to bring herself to move.

"I wasn't asleep." said Bianca.

But Marissa felt guilty just the same.

"Do you think you can sleep now?" Bianca asked moments later, moving back.

Marissa however wasn't ready to let her go. She needed to understand this. Marissa took Bianca's hand.

"If you stay with me." she whispered

The brief look of surprise on Bianca's face matched her own, Marissa wasn't sure where the words had come from; she just knew she needed Bianca near.

"Marissa..?" whispered Bianca, with the unspoken question they were clearly both too scared to ask.

"Just hold me." begged Marissa.

Slowly Bianca climbed under the bedcovers. Marissa snuggled in beside her, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist and resting her head on her shoulder. All Marissa wanted more than anything right now was to be held and she couldn't think of a safer, more loving pair of arms.

Anything more was too terrifying to contemplate.

…

The bad date made thing much more uncomfortable between her and JR. He asked her out for lunch; he had plans to seduce her with silver service picnic serenaded by their own private string quartet. But Marissa didn't want that. She didn't want to see JR at all. She needed to talk to Bianca. So she turned him down and gave her friend a call instead asking if they could maybe meet up in the park.

Marissa was sitting on the park bench as Bianca approached. She smiled and patted the seat beside her inviting her friend to join her. Bianca sat down, a nervous smile on her lips. She had a paper bag in her hand and put it on the bench between them.

"What's this?" Marissa asked.

"Well, you said you wanted to talk and I know, with your mom and dad you had your Sunday tradition…" she pulled out a box of donuts and a couple of cans of orange soda. "I thought it would make this easier."

In fact she had actually just made this one hundred per cent harder.

"How can you do that?" Marissa asked in wonder. "Know me so well?"

"You're a good friend." said Bianca.

"Is that really the reason?" Marissa asked in return.

"Of course." said Bianca, but her eyes were making a liar of her.

Marissa sighed and looked down at her hands.

"Because you're confusing me." she said quietly.

"What… How?"

"We need to talk about that kiss?" Marissa said finally. "It just complicated everything between us and we're not talking about it!"

Bianca's eyes widened.

"What?"

"The kiss. In the closet, I kissed you! I think maybe I need to explain why."

Bianca shook her head.

"It's okay… I know it was just a moment."

"No." said Marissa taking her hand. "I mean yes… yes it was just a spur of the moment thing. It was an intense night and…"

"You're straight… I know." said Bianca, pulling out of her grasp. "I wasn't…"

"No… I know. I just… you're being very tense around me and I thought maybe it was…"

"… because of the kiss…"

"Yeah."

Bianca smiled a sad smile and shook it off.

"It's okay, I do understand." she said, before giving a short chuckle. "Look at it this way… now you can sing along with Katy Perry and really mean it."

"That doesn't help." said Marissa in frustration. "I can't stop thinking about you… And you do things like this…" she gestured to the soda and donuts, "… and it just makes it worse… No, I don't mean worse…"

Words just weren't coming out the way she wanted.

"Marissa, I'm sorry, I don't mean to… I'm not trying to upset you… or confuse you." said Bianca. She was clearly having the same trouble wording her thoughts.

"I know… I know that." said Marissa shaking her head and looking away. "But I don't know what to do now?"

Bianca sighed.

"We could have a donut. Maybe the sugar would help."

_Ah, Bianca and her bad jokes._

"I think I'd need a truck full." said Marissa sadly.

Bianca took both of Marissa's hands in her own and looked at her intently.

"Look, I know you and I know this is not who you are. It's only confusing you because were friends. It's confusing for me too."

"Best friends." said Marissa trying to fake a warmer smile. Did Bianca really not want this… whatever this was?

Bianca nodded her head.

"Best friend?" she echoed, her voice soft.

"The very best." said Marissa even though she could feel her heart break as she said it.

…

It was clear now that Bianca didn't feel the same. Maybe she should take this as a sign that she should be focussing on her relationship with JR instead. He was trying so hard to be a new man for her, even if at the moment he kept failing.

So, when Bianca left Marissa called the Chandler offices; asking to talk to JR. They told her he and Amanda were working from a room at the yacht club. It wasn't a long walk from the park. Maybe she should drop by and surprise him.

She got the room number from the desk clerk and knocked on the door. It wasn't locked and swung open at a touch. She was met with the sight of two bodies writhing in bed together… JR and Amanda. So much for him being a change man!

JR leaped from the bed when he saw her and followed her down the corridor still trying to pull on some pants.

"It didn't mean anything." He pleaded. "Please don't be upset!"

Marissa stopped and turned on her heel.

"Your right, it didn't mean anything and I'm not upset. In fact you've helped me see everything so much clearer. Thank you."

"What… wait… where are you going?"

"I'm going home." said Marissa. "You take your time. I don't care anymore. You are your own man and you can sleep with whoever you want. Just like can see with whoever I want…"

"Wait, you're seeing someone?" JR cried in disgust. "I knew it! It's Scott isn't it?"

"It isn't anyone." said Marissa hotly. "But right now I really wish it was!"

…

Life at the Chandler mansion was now unbearable. JR was all but grovelling on bended knee to try and get her back.

"You've got to understand we were both upset…" pleaded JR, following Marissa into Krystal's like he'd been following her everywhere. As if persistence would be the thing to win her over. "We were comforting each other… and one thing led to another."

"That thing being the bed." said Marissa sarcastically. She was immune now to JR's words. He had blown all his chances. He just wasn't taking no for an answer.

"I'm sorry! You've got to know that I'm sorry!" he begged.

Marissa shook her head in despair.

"I get it!" she exclaimed. "You're sorry. You've said it a hundred times. I get it! But what you're not hearing is that I'm not! I'm not sorry it happened because it opened my eyes to who you really are and I have no intention of letting you fool me again!"

"But Marissa..!" cried JR, grabbing her arm to stop her walking away.

"Let go." said Marissa her voice quiet but fierce.

"Not until you hear me out!"

"I've heard enough." said Marissa in frustration trying to pull her arm away, but JR wasn't letting go.

"She asked you to let go." said an angry voice behind JR's back. It was Bianca Montgomery and she was giving JR her full on Kane stare.

JR stood his ground for barely a moment before releasing his grip.

"Now I think maybe you should go, don't you?" said Bianca. Her voice was cool but the glare she was giving JR could have melted glass.

JR backed out towards the door, but he looked back to Marissa.

"I'll go…" he said. "We'll talk about this later!"

When he was gone, Marissa collapsed onto the nearest seat, holding her head in her hands.

"God save me from JR!" she groaned

"Maybe someone should." said Bianca in sympathy. "How long has he been like that?"

"Since I caught him in bed with his secretary."

"Amanda!" whispered Bianca in surprise. "I'm sorry."

Marissa shook off her remorse.

"It was hardly your fault."

"I did kind of push you towards him." said Bianca sadly.

"Yeah, but I didn't have to listen."

The both sighed in unison.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know… get away somewhere. AJ wants a break from soccer camp, so maybe…" Marissa shrugged. "… we'll go somewhere."

Bianca put her hand on top of Marissa's.

"The girls and I were going for a weekend at the lakes... I know they'd love to have AJ along…"

Marissa gave her friend a small smile.

"That sounds perfect…"

…

The resort was heavenly and they had even managed to get adjoining rooms. AJ had begged for the kids to share together but Marissa had quickly vetoed it, things were still too complicated between her and Bianca to entertain the thought of sharing a bed. They'd settled back into their friendship and she was trying not to upset that.

…

While Bianca was in her meeting Marissa took care of the kids. After the pool she took then to the soft play area in the hotel where they ran around for several hours. Now they were all exhausted. She just hoped that Bianca wouldn't mind all three children had chosen her luxurious double bed to collapse on.

…

Marissa was sitting on her single bed, watching some infomercial on the television, when Bianca appeared from her room via the adjoining door, a bemused smile on her lips.

"We might need to call the front desk." she said with a grin. "There are three little monsters asleep on my bed."

"Yeah I wore them out I'm afraid."

"I can see that." said Bianca. "And they behaved themselves?"

"They were angels." said Marissa, "And how was our meeting?"

"Long." said Bianca. "But good. We got a lot of donations for the Miranda Centre."

"I'm glad to hear it... Well don't just stand there." said Marissa throwing a pillow at Bianca. "Take a pew." She added gesturing to AJ's empty bed.

Bianca settled on the other twin bed and watched the TV screen for a few moments before turning to Marissa.

"You are seriously watching this stuff."

"Oh come on." said Marissa with a laugh. "They have 'Hair-in-a-can'. Where else in the world can you see an innovation like that?"

Bianca laughed but Marissa relented.

"Okay, what do you want to watch? Bearing in mind we'll have to get the kids up in a bit as I promised them a swim."

"The news." suggested Bianca.

"Boring." said Marissa playfully, but she switched the channel.

Marissa looked back across at her friend and noticed Bianca looking her way.

"What?" asked Marissa.

"It's nothing." said Bianca, her cheeks turning pink. "It's just goods to have you here."

"Well, thank you for inviting me!" said Marissa with a grin.

…

They were escorted to two poolside loungers and then sent the kids off to play in the shallow end of the oddly deserted swimming pool.

Bianca unfastened her wrap and lay back.

"Mmm." she sighed blissfully. "We should do this more often."

"Definitely." said Marissa, grinning at the contented smile on her friends lips. She removed her own wrap and set about applying suntan lotion to her back.

"You know I could help you with that." offered Bianca.

Marissa turned to see her best friend watching her with one eye open.

Marissa tossed her the bottle.

"Be my guest?" she said.

Bianca got up and sat on the lounger behind her and with sure, gentle hands worked the lotion into her shoulders and down her back. Marissa closed her eyes contentedly. Bianca's soft hands felt great against her bare skin. Although she couldn't help but think this was getting back into the 'it's complicated' zone rather than the 'friends' one. Not that she really minded.

"That tickles." Marissa giggled as Bianca's hands moved to her sides.

Bianca pulled away at her words.

"Here." said Bianca after taking a deep breath, handing her the lotion bottle back. "You can probably get the rest."

Marissa took the bottle but also grabbed Bianca's wrist as well.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." said Bianca with a nervous grin, "It's just… been a long day. Besides one of us should probably be watching the kids."

"Bianca…" Marissa began but as fate would have it, before she could say more a large beach ball came flying in their direction.

"Okay." cried Marissa catching the wet ball before it hit her in the face. "Who threw that?"

"Me..! AJ!" cried the kids.

"I might have to get you for that later." said Marissa throwing the ball back.

Marissa turned back to Bianca but her friend had returned to her lounger and the moment had past.

…

They had a great afternoon in the pool, the kids wasting no time in getting their moms to come and play. In fact the pool was so deserted they almost had it to themselves. They had races and diving competitions and a rather complicated game of 'two against two and a half' volley ball with the beach ball. In the end no one was really sure who had won.

Later they had supper in the hotel restaurant and AJ ate enough barbecue ribs to feed an army. When it was time to go back to their rooms, Gabby was so drowsy Bianca was forced to carry her.

As they rode the elevator Miranda looked up at Bianca with her big doe eyes.

"Mommy?" she asked, "Please can AJ and I share a room. Please... please...please...please...please... We've been so good today and we'll go straight to sleep I swear."

"Please mom?" begged AJ, joining in with his Birthday twin's plea utilising his own indomitable cuteness.

Bianca and Marissa shared a look.

"They have been good." said Marissa.

"But will they go straight to sleep?"

"Oh we will, we will." cried Miranda, sensing her mother weakening.

"Okay." said Bianca slowly, still starring at Marissa a nervous smile on her lips.

Both children let out a loud _squee_ before hugging their mothers.

…

"Well they're asleep as promised." said Marissa coming back from the adjoining room. Bianca was already sat in bed in her pyjamas.

"This isn't a little weird." asked Bianca as Marissa climbed into the bed beside her.

"Why," asked Marissa, "It's not the first time we've slept together."

Bianca's cheeks turned red.

"Maybe you should be careful how you say that."

Marissa laughed and swatted Bianca's arm.

"You know what I mean." she joked, "We can do this. We're friend's, it shouldn't be awkward."

Bianca nodded.

"Well good night." she said, before settling onto her pillow turning her back to Marissa.

"Goodnight." said Marissa as she reached out to turn off the light.

Marissa sighed and settled into her own pillow, gazing thoughtfully at the back of her best friend's head.

"Sleep tight." she whispered.

…

Marissa was still half asleep when she became aware to the feeling of warm breath on her cheek and a warm body entwined with her own. With a sigh she leant into the sensation, following the breath to seek out a soft and tender morning kiss. The kisses were returned with equal gentleness, but Marissa suddenly became aware of the softness of the body that engulfed her own and there was a distinct lack of stubble on the cheek she now nuzzled. She opened her eyes and pulled away to find Bianca gazing at her with an equally shocked expression on her face.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" gasped Bianca, untangling arms and legs before leaping from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom.

Marissa blinked, still a little surprised at what had just occurred. She reached up with curious fingers to touch her lips, to trace the lingering sensation of Bianca's kisses.

Oh boy! They were definitely back into the complicated zone now!

…

Marissa lay still for a moment, before her concern for her friend overrode everything else.

Marissa got up and tried the bathroom door but it was locked. She could hear crying inside.

"Bianca." said Marissa, knocking on the door. "Bianca let me in… please."

The sobs grew quieter but the door stayed locked. Minutes passed.

"Bianca, please. Why are you crying?"

Unable to stand it anymore Marissa knocked hard on the door once more.

"Bianca, we need to talk about this." she begged. "Please open the door!"

Marissa heard movement and a pop as the bolt was slid back. The door opened to Bianca's tear stained face.

"Why are you crying?" Marissa asked, pushing through the door and reaching out to hug her friend. Bianca pulled away.

"Don't," she begged, still sobbing. "Please don't."

"Bianca." sighed Marissa.

"Don't… I shouldn't have kissed you!" said Bianca, the horror of the thought etched on her face.

"Bianca you were dreaming."

"But I'm sorry… "

"Bianca, you are my friend. I love you. It was a dream, you had no control over your actions. We were both dreaming in fact. You didn't mean any harm. I was just a warm body."

"No Marissa, you're not." said Bianca fervently.

"Bianca?"

Bianca started crying again.

"I was dreaming about you… I wanted you, I've always wanted you."

"You were dreaming about me." said Marissa, her jaw dropping in surprise… but she was the one who said...

"But we can't." whispered Bianca. "I… I just can't…"

…

They returned sooner than planned from the vacation as Bianca had an early meeting. Marissa took AJ home, finding JR asleep in the lounge surrounded by boxes of old toys.

"Happy Birthday Daddy!" AJ cried bundling on top of his father.

JR hugged his son and then gave Marissa a wide grin.

"Happy Birthday!" Marissa chorused, but she was only there for AJ. She would play along for his sake… just as long as JR didn't start coming on strong again.

She didn't want anything to do with JR, not anymore… she was too busy thinking about her best friend. Her mind was filled with Bianca; she would catch herself sighing at the thought of that soft sweet morning kiss, and in another moment her body would tingle at the lingering memory of Bianca's fingers rubbing sun lotion onto her skin and then her heart would race at the passion in those few words _'I wanted you...I've always wanted you!'_ because Marissa knew that she wanted Bianca in exactly the same way?

But could she do that? Did she have the courage to admit that there was so much more than friendship between them?

…

To make up for missing JRs birthday Marissa suggested they go for a family lunch at Krystals. When she entered she saw Bianca sitting there talking to her kids. She looked beautiful…

The look Bianca gave her was startled and embarrassed but Marissa could only smile. When JR took AJ off to find a table Marissa lingered with Bianca, reaching out to touch her wrist, not feeling quite brave enough to take her hand.

"We need to talk," she said. "Can we meet in the park later?"

Bianca held her breath and then smiled and nodded her head.

…

They found each other by the fish pond. Bianca was sitting there pensively nursing a cup of coffee, staring into the distance, as Marissa approached.

"Did a couple carve their initials in that tree?" Marissa found herself asking.

Bianca gave her smile.

"People don't do that anymore." she said getting up to join her. "They post it in social networks."

"Pity." said Marissa. "Computer's crash… but a tree…"

She couldn't finish the sentence. What was she talking about? This wasn't why she was here…

"…Why did you kiss me?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.

Bianca swallowed.

"I was dreaming… I never would have…"

Marissa took her hand, not letting her finish.

"Why? Why not?"

"Because I've been down this road before and it's a dead end I end up losing… losing everything. I don't want either of us to get hurt!"

"But what about what I want?" asked Marissa.

Bianca held her gaze.

"What do you want?"

Marissa took a deep breath, holding Bianca's hand over her heart.

"I want this. I want you. I know it's not just friendship." she said slowly. "It's so much more… and it's a little scary, but everything you've done for me! You know me like no one else. And… and I'm drawn to you I can feel it ; in Saint Barts, at the Marina… When I'm hurting I want to be with you because just having you close make me feel safer. And when you're hurting all I want to do is hold you and make you smile again. How can I ignore what it means? I can't! Knowing that you gave JR the music box to give to me… it all makes sense…"

"What do you mean?" asked Bianca.

"Well the music box plays a song that my father used to sing to me when I got scared… and it made me good about myself… and it made me feel like I could do anything in the world if only I had the courage to try. You are that song, Bianca… you make me feel the way that song makes me feel." Marissa took a step closer. "I've fallen in love with you!"

And with those words she leant in to kiss Bianca's pensive lips. She was tentative at first and for a moment she was afraid that Bianca was going to pull away. Instead her friend's hands wrapped around her waist and the kiss that was returned was so sensual and passionate it almost made her dizzy.

Eventually Bianca drew back, her hand softly caressing Marissa's cheek as a warm happy smile lit her face.

"You're sure, you want me… us?" she asked, wonder in her voice.

"I've never been more sure of anything thing in my life." said Marissa and swept in for another kiss.

…

**THE END**


End file.
